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Why you can’t relax and how to find peace

Ever feel like no matter what you do, you just can’t seem to relax?

You try to unwind, but there’s this underlying tension that keeps bubbling up. Maybe it shows up as irritability, a racing mind, or a body that can’t seem to stop feeling tense.

What if this inability to relax is your liver sending you signals?

According to traditional Chinese medicine, your liver plays a huge role in how your body handles stress and tension. When it’s out of balance, you may feel emotionally and physically stuck. Today let’s explore why your liver health might be the key to finding the calm you’re searching for.

1. The Liver’s Role in Relaxation and Flow

In traditional Chinese medicine, the liver is connected to the wood element, which represents growth, movement, and flow. Just like trees, which grow and expand outward, your liver energy is meant to keep things moving smoothly – from your emotions to the flow of energy throughout your body.

But when your liver becomes overwhelmed, the flow can get stuck, leading to physical and emotional tension. This can make it nearly impossible to relax, no matter what you try.

2. Signs Your Liver Is Blocking Your Relaxation

If you’re having a hard time relaxing, there’s a chance your liver energy is blocked. Here are some common symptoms that suggest your liver might need some attention:

Irritability and frustration: If you find yourself getting annoyed at the smallest things or snapping at people, this is a classic sign of liver imbalance.
Muscle tension: Chronic tightness in your neck, shoulders, or hips can be related to liver stagnation. You might also experience migraines or tension headaches.
Trouble sleeping: especially between 11 PM and 3 AM: This is when your liver is most active. If you find yourself waking up or feeling restless during these hours, your liver could be the culprit.
Mood swings: If your mood seems to swing from one extreme to the other, it could be because your liver is struggling to keep emotions “flowing” as they should.

3. How to Support Your Liver and Finally Relax

To find the relaxation and calm you crave, it’s essential to focus on supporting your liver’s ability to move energy freely. Here’s how you can do that:

But before you jump into all of the solutions… I want to remind you to listen to what feels right.  Don’t add something into your life, if you don’t love it – or you won’t keep it up or worse, it might not be exactly right for you. It’s how I coach and what I encourage all of my students to do. Trust your intuition here and let’s look at some solutions for your semi-stressed liver.

It also reminds me of one of my incredible clients, Sarah who was a fellow coaching professional, working long hours for her clients but finally taking some “self-care” time for herself.  When she joined my 1:1 coaching she was all in.  She followed all of my advice and quickly we saw her energy increase,  her sleep improve, and of course we noticed a few surprise shifts that are always fun.

But there was one goal that stayed our of reach; weight loss.

It wasn’t about calories or exercise, she was already doing lots so that, it was her liver signaling that more balance was needed.  Despite all her hard work and maybe because of all her hard work, her body would NOT let go of the weight.  A different shift was needed.  A shift to truly let her body be the guide. The let her body lead so that she could truly see the benefits she desired, lasting change. 

For success we needed to change our focus to her liver and how it impacts stress and tension.

I’m sharing Sarah’s story with you because it’s one I see often and it’s one you might relate to.  Keep Sarah’s story in mind as you read about a few solutions and please, don’t go overboard. Pick one idea and test it out. Now let’s see what feels right for you, right now.

Release Physical Tension

The liver is strongly connected to your muscles and tendons.

When its energy is blocked, physical tension builds up in the body. Here’s how to relieve it:

• Gentle stretching or yoga: The liver loves flexibility, and movements like yoga, especially Asana yoga, can help release that built-up tension.

• Self-massage or acupressure: Focus on areas where you feel the most tension, like your neck or shoulders. Applying firm pressure can help release liver blockages.

Emotional Flow

Liver energy also governs your emotions.

If you’re holding onto frustration, anger, or resentment, this can block your ability to relax. Try these emotional releases:

• Journaling: Write down what’s bothering you. Getting your emotions out on paper can help move them through your system.
• Breathing exercises: Deep, slow breathing helps to calm the nervous system and release emotional tension. Try belly breathing to increase oxygen flow and reduce stress.

Eat Foods That Support the Liver

Certain foods can help unblock liver energy

To promote better digestion, which is essential for relaxation try adding in more:

• Sour foods: The liver thrives on the sour flavor. Incorporating foods like lemons, vinegar, or sour pickles can help stimulate liver function and flow.
• Leafy greens: Green is the color of the liver. Eating more green leafy vegetables like spinach, kale, and arugula can help support liver detoxification and balance.
• Stay hydrated: Drinking 8-10 oz of filtered water throughout the day helps flush toxins from your liver and keeps your energy moving.

Create a Restorative Routine

Supporting your liver’s natural rhythms can help you relax more easily, especially at night. Try:

• Establishing a calming evening routine: Avoid screens an hour before bed and incorporate calming practices like reading, meditation, or gentle stretching.
• Sleep hygiene: Ensure your room is dark and quiet, and keep a consistent sleep schedule. If you tend to wake up between 11 PM and 3 AM, this could be your liver’s way of telling you it needs support.

4. Why You Can’t Ignore Stress and Its Impact on Your Liver

Stress has a profound impact on your liver.

When you’re under chronic stress, your body releases hormones that put extra pressure on your liver. Over time, this can lead to feelings of irritability, exhaustion, and physical tension that make it difficult to relax.

If you’ve been ignoring the signs of stress or pushing yourself to the point of burnout, it’s time to give your liver some much-needed care. Supporting your liver will help you manage stress more effectively and restore your ability to relax. 

5. Small Changes That Make a Big Difference

Start by making small, manageable changes:

• Stretch daily: Even 5 minutes of gentle stretching can help release tension and support your liver. Here is a quick video on how to release energy if you’re also suffering from constipation.
• Add sour foods: Squeeze lemon into your water or add a splash of vinegar to your meals to help move stuck liver energy.
• Prioritize rest: Set aside time each day to unwind, whether through meditation, breathing exercises, or simply sitting quietly in nature.

The more you support your liver, the more you’ll notice the tension melting away, both physically and emotionally.

When your liver is balanced, everything flows – including your ability to relax. If you’ve been feeling tense, irritated, or restless, it’s worth looking at how your liver might be contributing to the problem. By focusing on releasing physical and emotional tension, eating liver-friendly foods, and creating calming routines, you’ll start to feel more at peace in your body and mind.

Take the time to listen to your liver’s signals and give it the care it needs. Soon, you’ll find that relaxation isn’t so out of reach after all.

If you’re ready to put these solutions into action check out a rare opportunity to join The Flourish Academy. It’s group mentorship focused on YOUR symptoms and solutions.   Learn more here 
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Stephanie Huntjens White BA, RHNC, empowers women over 40 to reclaim their vitality by tuning into their body’s wisdom. Through a personalized blend of holistic nutrition, traditional Chinese medicine and nervous system energy clearing, she guides them to overcome fatigue, mood swings and poor sleep, allowing them to flourish with balance and ease. Book a blueprint call to get started

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